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Wednesday, November 11, 2015

WKA World Championships Spain 2015: After the fights

Its Wednesday, November 11th and I am sitting here in lab at work. I should definitely be working and catching up on experiments. I have lab meeting on Monday and a lecture to prepare for the 24th. I just can't stop thinking about what happened at Worlds. Its only been 3 days since Finals. Just 3 days since I earned my gold medals. The funny thing about life is that things just keep going.
Monday, November 9th, was spent traveling home. We got back at midnight. Tuesday rolls around, and its 7am and I decide that its time for work. I woke up sore. My head was kinda pounding and my biceps were sore AF that I could barely extend them. I stopped by the grocery store to pick up food for the week. Went back home to drop the groceries off and jetted to work. At work, people are excited to see me healthy. I came home nearly unscathed.

Today, I am not sure if I have a concussion from all the fights. I picked up fish oil which I believe soothes any inflammation in my brain...fact or placebo...I think it heals me up. My brain is functional today. Yesterday not so much. No eye strain today which is good. I think I just needed some rest.

Later tonight, I am visiting the gym. I was supposed to visit last night but I was exhausted from the jet lag. The 6 hours back into time really gets me around 5pm. I am excited to hang up the 2 gold medals and the silver medal at the gym. I feel like thats where they belong. All the work was done there and so thats where they should be.

I feel like I have accomplished something and nothing at the same time. Yes, I am a nut. Accomplished, because I got the results I wanted and hoped for. Unaccomplished, because I feel like there is some strange part of me that still feels nothingness and insecure. I do feel relieved that I did it and I got the job done. My biggest fear was coming home a loser and disappointing my coach...my team....and letting myself down after all the training and pressure I put on myself. I wanted to prove it to myself that I could sign up for all the divisions and try to clean them all out. I needed the affirmation that I was good enough at fighting. I suppose I didn't think about how I would feel after I had won it. The only thing I could visualize was up until my hand being raised, but nothing after. When I got to the venue and saw the podiums, I just told myself that I was going to be on it and there was no other option besides that. I don't know if it was a lie I told myself. Sometimes I tell myself lies so that I am not negative and feeding fear and doubt. Nevertheless, I don't think I believed I could be a world champion title holder. Even when coach would announce in class that we are bringing home gold. I didn't think about really bringing them home.

I am in a state of anticlimax. Pretty much for the whole year I have been putting in 2 a days. I have been sparring, doing the classes, pad work and drilling, doing my strength and conditioning, trying to maintain my weight and be on diet. Everything I did was to make sure I performed well and was successful. I put so much pressure on myself leading up to Worlds. The excitement and high of winning right after the fights has dissappeared. All of that is gone now. Mentally, I feel like I hit a reset button. I feel like I need another goal to tackle. I don't know why I always need something to attain or work toward. But, I already feel it and its only been 3 days.


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Results for WKA Nationals 2015 118 lb weight class

WKA's seems like so long ago already and its only been a few months since March 21st. Since then, I  went on a job interview on April 1st. I had to write my dissertation which was due April 15th. Finally, I defended my thesis April 30th.

I need some time to just sit and write about what went down. But here are the results:

Open Glory rules Win
Open Muay Thai rules no elbows Win and Loss

I fought once and won my first Muay Thai fight on Saturday. On Sunday, I fought twice. I got the decision on the Glory rules open division and lost my second fight in the Muay Thai open division. That Sunday, I was scheduled to fight a 3rd match in the full rules division. Since I had 2 scheduled in my weight class, I pulled out of the 3rd division.

More later.


Monday, February 9, 2015

My Comeback

It took me (or my surgeon really) 11 months to be cleared to fight again. This was around December so around this time Coach Jason and I were already planning when the next fight would be. For the last few months I had been feeling really good about my training and I grew confident with my knee. I was just itching to fight again. We discussed before that we would make my return to the ring in January 2015. Initially, we anticipated fighting for TCB January 31st. I couldn't get an opponent matched up for me and the whole show just fell through. Luckily a few days after the New Year, Rami Ibrahim from Rami Elite was matchmaking for Gut Check Championships scheduled for January 24th. 

Although I had been cleared to fight in December 2014, I had been sparring Muay Thai since the 8th month mark. My knee held up fine during those long cross training sessions so I felt confident that 6 minutes in the fight wouldn't be a problem. I did worry about my conditioning considering I was on such a long break off my legs for a considerable time during the recovery. Training went well but 2 weeks before the fight I got really bad shin splints on my right shin…the “bad” leg. I had to stop doing sprints on the turf and instead did sprints on the bike. That worried me because I felt like my conditioning would be affected. 

The weeks leading up to the fight, I just felt so blessed to get the opportunity to fight again. Not only did training go relatively smooth, but I felt mentally ready. I felt like I was hitting harder, hitting faster, and I felt like my mind was right for the first time ever. In the past I have been an emotional mess and I would be full of doubts about my performance and thinking I was going to lose the fight. This time was different. The whole year I had been watching everyone else train and seeing my teammates enjoy the whole fight experience. I had been wanting it so bad, all I did last year was imagine my own fights and even my training sessions. So, before this fight I just imagined it going my way. I imagined perfectly placed punches, kicks, knees, and push kicks. And only pictured my hand being raised after the fight was over. 

The weight cut could have been smoother. I had the flu all day Wednesday so I took the whole day off to rest and hydrate. I was still sick Thursday but I had to train and cut. By Friday, I miraculously was better even while not being able to eat or drink for 24hrs. After lab, we drove out to Delaware. We checked in and cut the last couple pounds and I weighed in at 122.6 lbs. After hydrating and eating, I felt amazing! 

The day of the fight, I woke up early and did 3-5 rounds on the pads with Coach Jason and did the elliptical to wake up my body. We ate breakfast and had a light lunch before heading to the venue. While we waited for the locker room to open up, Kristan braided my hair and Jason wrapped up my hands. It wasn't until I changed into my Muay Thai shorts and started warming up where I became emotional. I would go from focused and calm to really excited and then on the verge of crying because of all the loops I had to jump through just to get to this day. All the emotions were just overwhelming. I was feeling this way the entire time I was in the warm up area. By the time I walked out and into the ring, I was super calm, almost too calm for the fight. I heard them announce my name and heard everyone yelling in the crowd. It just felt good to be in there. When I was in the ring, I stood there the few seconds before the fight started thinking with my eyes closed tight, “I can do this.” After everything, the fight I was imagining was right there and it was gonna really go down. 

My opponent, Mary Brulator, had as much experience as I did (if not more) and also came to fight hard. I anticipated her coming forward for a fight and also to try to clinch me up. 

First round we touched gloves and she landed a big rear push kick. I was okay. I had to find my range and so I started off with a jab kick 1-2 and in the clinch we went. In the clinch she was a lot stronger than she looked. We broke and I remember just shaking off the jitters. I needed to get back into gear this round and fast! I only had 2 minutes to win it. She landed good straight punches. Looking at the footage, I was surprised at how much the combos I threw flowed. My training was really translating into the fight.

Round 2 started off very faced paced and we exchanged strikes on the outside for like 30 seconds. We clinched up for 30 seconds, broke and started exchanging more strikes on the outside. I did hesitate in this round. I still needed to find my range. This round was close and I think it could have gone either way. I wasn't as active in the clinch and she looked good in this round.

Round 3 I went for it. I felt strong and ready to go! I finally was able to get full control in the clinch and pull her into my knees. She slowed down a little bit in this round and I came back stronger. She landed really good straights. My head movement sucked and I would just eat them.

When the fight was over I just held my hands up. It was over. Coach Jason and Jared removed my gear. I just felt relieved that I did it. When they announced the winner, I felt confident that I had won. But since, I left it to the judges I kept my head down as I listened to the results. They announced I won and raised my hand up. I just felt calm and relieved that I did it. I was back.


I feel content with my performance. I wish I was more active on the outside and I feel like I could have done better in the clinch. But, I came out of the fight without any injuries and my legs were perfectly fine. This fight wasn't just to shake off the ring rust. It was super important to me. I hadn't fought in 16 months and prior to that I only had one fight in 2013 before blowing out my ACL. I feel like I collected enough data in those 6 minutes to know where I was at in my training. To my surprise I have gotten better since my last fight in 2013 even with my long recovery. Perhaps most importantly, I finally believe in myself. I will be back in the ring in less than 5 weeks and I am confident I will just be even better, stronger, faster, relentless and more fearless. Im back!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Fight scheduled on January 24th

I now have a fight scheduled! Its fitting. Its the 1 year anniversary of my ACL reconstruction and meniscus repair. I can't believe it. I have spent a lot of time and energy wanting to be able to fight and its here.

I weigh in at 122 lbs in 19 days. I have been very disciplined with my weight cut. Initially, I thought I was to fight at 118 for another promotion. They couldn't find an opponent for me. Today, a match maker from a different promoter needed a 122 lb female. The fight is modified muay thai rules. I wear shin guards. If I don't wear head gear, I am supposed to wear 12 ounce gloves.

I don't feel as stressed out about the fight like I normally would. In the past, I have been an emotional mess. Full of doubt and without confidence in myself. I feel like the injury and long recovery gave me something I didn't have before. I don't know if its more confidence, but I certainly feel a lot more tenacious.